Here We Are Again!

Day 2

Pretty uneventful really.

Wish I had something really exciting to report, but alas, I haven't.

The thing is, that I'm kind of inbetween things at the moment. Without wishing to appear overly secretive, there's not much I can do until somebody else makes a move. In the meantime, everything's in limbo.

It's like today - nothing arranged. It's been quite tedious really. Highlight of the day was getting up at 04:30 with the wife as she was getting ready for work. I was bloody starving. Fancied something quick. Bunged a couple of slices of bread in the toaster, and fried a couple of eggs. Buttered me toast, lobbed the eggs on there, and added a great big squirt of HP sauce.

Now, this is not recommended.

Mind you - it's my own fault for being a gutsy bastard.

Polished the lot off in less than two minutes. Lit a fag, drank some coffee - and then - oh fucking HELL!

Me guts went mental. I got some kind of insight into how John Hurt must have felt in ALIEN had it been real of course.

Wifey asked me if I was all right.

"Yes," I croaked. "Apart from the bastard Battle Of Tianenmen Square going on in me innards!"

Gave up, I did. Went back to bed. Feeling all sorry for meself.

And then...

Got up a bit later and decided that eggs on toast - maybe not such a good idea. Opted instead for a proper full English breakfast - a cup of coffee and a fag. Not too healthy, admittedly, but infinitely easier on the old guts.

Had a look on t'interweb then. Usual shite in the papers - Katie fucking Price saying Peter Andre's evil, like I give a toss, and a fox caught up the top of that Shard building in London. Absolute crap.

So then I had a look at me favourite website: thespoof.com - and that was a load of shite too.

So I fannied about for a bit, fed the cat, heard next door's fucking mad dog trying to break the fence down in order to maul the postman, and I contemplated the meaning of life.

After about seventy nine seconds of deep contemplation, I concluded that life just is - and that some days good things happen, and some days shit happens. In my case, nothing happened.

Then wifey came home from work. She rattled on for about twenty minutes, then announced that she was going for a nap.

Having fuck all else to do, I smacked down a couple of spoof news articles. They won't get many views, because they aren't about teen celebrity stars or genitalia. They're about socks. And why not? Socks could become really big in cyberspace. Plus, it's more fun writing about socks, than writing about gobshite American teen stars.

Anyway - I'm watching Benidorm on me telly now. They're talking about the nutritional value of sausages and wholemeal bread...

Laters...Oh for fuck's sake NO! - Cilla bastard Black's in it...

I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE READ THE PREVIEWS! BASTARDS!